Kamala Harris just endorsed Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass for reelection and — I need you to sit down for this one — claimed that Bass has successfully “stamped out” crime and homelessness in the city. This is about Los Angeles. The city where you can watch someone steal a TV on your Ring camera and the cops won’t even file a report. A city that forces children to walk through homeless encampments on their way to school. That Los Angeles.
This is Baghdad Bob energy so thick you could spread it on toast. “There are no American tanks in Baghdad,” he said, as an Abrams rolled by in the background. “She stamped out crime and homelessness,” says Kamala, as a tent city smolders behind her in the California sun. You genuinely cannot parody these people because they parody themselves faster than any comedian could write material.
Let’s review the Karen Bass record, shall we? Because apparently Kamala skipped that part.
Homelessness in Los Angeles? The city’s own count from earlier this year showed over 45,000 people living on the streets. Forty-five THOUSAND human beings sleeping in tents, in cars, in cardboard boxes, in the richest state in the richest country on earth. Bass’s big initiative — “Inside Safe” — moved some people into hotel rooms temporarily, declared victory, and then watched half of them cycle right back onto the street. It’s the government equivalent of sweeping dirt under the rug and then posting an Instagram about your clean house.
But sure. Stamped out. Totally handled. Nothing to see here.
Crime? Oh, let’s talk crime. Smash-and-grab robberies became so routine in LA that stores started closing rather than deal with it. Nordstrom left. Target reduced hours. Whole shopping districts look like ghost towns because retailers decided it was cheaper to abandon the market than to keep replacing stolen merchandise that the DA wouldn’t prosecute anyone for taking. Violent crime ticked down slightly from its post-COVID peak — congratulations on being marginally less dangerous than you were during a literal societal breakdown — but property crime remains a way of life.
This is the record Kamala Harris looked at and said, “Yes. Endorse.”
Here’s the thing we all need to understand: this endorsement isn’t about Karen Bass’s record. It never was. This is about Kamala Harris trying to stay relevant. She lost the presidential race in historic fashion. She’s been wandering the political wilderness ever since, showing up at events, giving speeches nobody covers, desperately trying to maintain the fiction that she’s still a player. Endorsing Bass is a cheap way to stay in the California news cycle without having to actually DO anything.
And Bass needs the endorsement because — shocker — she’s facing actual opposition this time. Turns out when your city burns down and you’re in Ghana, voters get a little testy. So she needs every high-profile Democrat she can find to stand next to her and pretend everything is fine. Enter Kamala, stage left, with a straight face and claims that would make Pinocchio blush.
What kills me — what absolutely sends me — is the audacity of claiming you fixed homelessness in a city where the fire victims are STILL displaced. Thousands of Angelenos who owned homes in January are now living in temporary housing, with friends, in hotels the city is paying for. You didn’t stamp out homelessness, Karen. You CREATED more of it. The fires made thousands of new homeless people and you’re taking a victory lap.
This is the Democratic Party in one perfect snapshot. Claim credit for solving a problem that’s worse than ever. Find a friendly face to repeat the lie on camera. Hope nobody checks the numbers. Hope the media just prints the press release without looking out the window.
We’re not fooled. The people of Los Angeles aren’t fooled — at least not the ones who’ve been stepping over needles and watching their neighbors’ houses burn. The only people who believe Karen Bass fixed LA are the people who don’t live there and Kamala Harris, who apparently believes whatever the teleprompter tells her to believe.
LA is broken. It was broken before the fires, and it’s catastrophically broken after them. The infrastructure is failing, the budget is hemorrhaging, the population is fleeing to Texas and Florida and Arizona and anywhere that isn’t California. And in the middle of all this wreckage, two of the most powerful Democratic women in America stood in front of cameras and told you everything is great.
They think you’re stupid. They think you won’t check. They think the vibes are enough.
Prove them wrong, Los Angeles. You deserve better than Baghdad Bob governance. You deserve leaders who at least have the basic dignity to acknowledge reality before asking for your vote.
